DEAR MAN is an interpersonal effectiveness skill to use when we want to get an objective met. It is an assertiveness skill that breaks passive aggressive patterns.      

Goal:  Meet Your Objective

·      Describe the current situation

·      Express your feelings and opinions about situation

·      Assert yourself by asking for what you want, or saying “No” clearly

·      Reinforce or reward the person ahead of time: explain consequences

·      Mindfully keep your focus on your objectives: don’t be distracted

·      Appear confident and effective: good eye contact, no stammering

·      Negotiate: be willing to give to get

DEAR MAN Language Help Describe – short 
Description             I notice……..

Express – Opinion/Feeling                I feel………….

Assert – What you are asking for      I need………………. Or I want……….  (“I” statements)

Reinforce- What they will gain         If you do ________________, then _______________

 
 


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